Up to this point, I feel like I've done a fairly decent job of keeping all my internet personalities (shush it!) in tidy, little obscure corners. The blog is separate from the discussion boards, which is all I had to contend with until I - cue ominous music - joined Facebook. I know. Famous last words, right? Anyway, lots of you are FB friends, and I talk to you in real life, too. This is all good. It's the folks I know in real life that concern me. The old blog has cleaned up a lot since the good old days: a little less language a lot more restraint with family laundry. Regardless of this, I know that I can write what I want and how I want. The discussion board/online community is another beast entirely; I'm about as transparent as possible (as it applies to the board). There's really no reason not to be in that case. And Facebook. Damn you, Facebook. You've thrown an ugly little wrench into my well-laid plans.
It started with finding a few old high school people. Good, good. Then a few college friends, followed by some online friends from both here and the board. Still okay, but I noticed that a lot more people from the past were showing up.
The little sidebar thing on the Facebook page? The one that makes those Oracle-like predictions on who you should friend? Well, I saw a face and name from high school that I'd rather have forgotten about entirely should I be so lucky. He, himself, isn't quite the problem. His best friend, in high school anyway, is - well, was. Then it happened, just like I knew it would. I opened my email to see a friend request from Jeff. Why, yes, that is his real name. And it sat in my queue for days. Days.
His best friend, after some digging, is also on Facebook and, naturally, one of his friends. This friend? Absolutely scared the holy, living, breathing life right out of me for several, agonizing months my junior year in high school and "gifted" me an experience I will likely never forget. To make another long story short, it involved ONE single, solitary date followed by months of obsessive phone calls, stalking, rage, threats, etc. I officially started dating at 16, and this guy was maybe the fifth person I'd actually gone out with. What followed was a stream of phone calls threatening to burn my house down, to kill me, seeing this fool outside our house at midnight doing God knows what. To say I was terrified would be a vast understatement. To this day, the mention of this "friend's" name takes me right back to that place thirteen years ago.
Today, he's married, gained a good fifty pounds (good, because his wiry-ness added to his psychotic curb appeal), and travels the world. Hallelujah! So, certainly, he has better things to do than to resume torturing me. Right?
Have you had the misfortune of attracting any unsavory individuals from your past? I have my security settings set about as high as possible, yet I'm still unnervingly unsettled by all of this. This alone could cause me to pull the plug on this social site, because the last place I want to be, at this point in my life, is seventeen again and scared.
hurdles
3 hours ago
8 comments:
Oh, dude, that's just not right. Why take a chance on psycho finding you again? Did you accept Jeff's request? If his friend makes you that uncomfortable, don't do it. It's terrible you had to feel that way at 17; you don't want to feel that way again - ever.
I've actually denied people's friend requests on FB for this exact reason. There are parts of my past that are better well...left if in the past. DH is on FB and just "Friended" a guy that graduated with me who used to be one of his very close friends. This "friend" used to harass the hell out of me in HS. he once actually drew a picture of me and my then boyfriend having sex and taped it to the outside of my locker(true story).. Well, when he found out DH was dating me (5 years after I graduated) he "disowned" him as a friend...now they are all buddy buddy on FB and I'm feeling sort of pissy about it. As much as I love FB, I hate it at the same time. So...I'm right there with ya sister!
Facebook is a wonder, isn't it? Faces pop up on there all of the time of people that I've completely forgotten ever existed.
So far, I haven't attracted any weirdos--
I'm a little weird about what I post there--just in case, ya know?
Don't feel obligated in any way, shape, or form to "friend" that guy. I would just delete him if you've already added him, or write him a little note explaining if you're afraid of dude taking it personally. He's the one with the shitty friend, he must suffer the consequences. Facebook--both blessing and curse.
Thank you, by the way, for the sweet comment you left for me. I really appreciate it.
Hmmm....I haven't re-met any creepolas as of yet, which is shocking. But I'm sure I will.
I haven't got the patience for FB. The layout annoys the heck out of me. I get on there just long enough to add a friend request and I'm off it again. I'd rather blog. It's more interesting than somebody from high school eating mashed potatoes at 8am. But...I can relate to the people showing up thing. I had an ex-girlfriend show up over the weekend. I spent a few minutes deciding whether or not to "allow" her in, but my sister said, "Why not? It's a public profile anyhow." This will either be HORRIBLE or great. We'll see.
I'm not on facebook. But that hasn't stopped a few of those unsavory types from finding me anyway.
Amazing what it can do huh? There have been a couple of people to come up that still get my senses unnerved! In the beginning I felt like I couldn't deny the request and yet recently, I evidently did the thing your "never" supposed to do - - defriended a slue of them! Will admit, there is still a part of me that feels yucky over it, but thrilled none the less! High school once was enough!
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